piecesofpeace1

Daily Ground – – -February 18

The only way to win the rat race is to be a rat!

I don’t buy into the message of survival of the fittest.  Darwin also talked a lot about cooperation, but we don’t hear much about that.  Worst of all, in the US, survival of the fittest has everything to do with wealth. So if you have 1 million, 2 million is better.  From what I see, wealth also buys you a ton of misery.

I say this as someone who very much lives within this rat race (I don’t have millions!).  I have lots of stuff; too much stuff.  And still, I have that fist like feeling in my gut that tells me I’ll never have as much as you. I’m ready to get out of the rat race.  I figure either way I go, there will be pain.  I can continue in the race – working, working, working, collecting stuff, little time to enjoy those I love. Or I can simplify.  Get rid of stuff. Downsize.  Make choices that feed me spiritually.

There is no easy way out of this race, but bringing these thoughts to awareness, sharing them with spiritual friends and mentors, will certainly change the way I enter into the dialogue, and the stores.

Peace.

Daily Ground- – -February 17

Cast your ‘mind nets’ wide in order to gain perspective.

I was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt in my early life. I was so broken and full of guilt and shame. I had no perspective in my life – I  was completely unable to create distance between my feelings and facts.

I remember a time when I had a rather ugly blemish on my face. It was one of those white heads that was ready to pop and looked angry. I was messing with it in the mirror, and I pulled back a bit from the mirror. Rather than just seeing the zit, my entire face came into focus. Unfortunately, I had no perspective. All I saw was the zit! I had become an ugly, angry zit – afraid to be seen.

This was during my darkest days; it was shortly before I began intentionally practicing a spiritual life. After months or maybe years of practicing mindfulness, I had another blemish on my face.  As I looked in the mirror I was reminded of the time I couldn’t get perspective.  The dark time in my life when my self-centeredness would allow a small blemish to ruin whole days. This day though, as I pulled back from the mirror and more of me came into view, I saw my entire self, with a small pimple on my chin.

Peace.

Daily Ground- – -February 11

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.”
― Socrates

If we take time to realize what we have, we may have a chance at stopping our minds from convincing us our wants are so important. I have wasted moments wishing I had things just out of reach. When I bring myself back to the present moment and breath in, I am content with what I have.

I need very little to please me.  It’s you – out there – that needs a lot. When I want to please you by what I wear or my furniture or my zip code, that’s when it’s impossible to find peace and contentment.

Peace.

Daily Ground – – -February 10

Being an unselfish parent means letting our children suffer. It is often worse for us than for them.

I wish I had been meditating and practicing mindfulness when my children were young or even before I had children.  In counseling parents and in seeing my own drives to control and keep my kids comfortable, I see how much of my parenting was about making me comfortable.

I was pretty laid back with some things – like germs. But I was so full of guilt and fear about either not being with them enough or about them being with people I didn’t know.  Most of this came from my own old fears of childhood.  I would rush home from grad school not because my kids needed me but because I needed them.  I was using them to fill some void in me.  This was all dressed up in something that looked like good parenting.

As I’m ready to launch my oldest to college, I see so clearly now that my children are individual human beings.  That aren’t successful because of me.  I am not beaming because of their accomplishments – they are! What kind of parents have we become that we mold our kids to be something because it makes us comfortable.

The most important thing you can teach your child is how to sit still and be uncomfortable. But how many of us jumped and danced and did anything so they would be comforted.  When a child learns to be uncomfortable, only then can she bear life.  They will then be able to handle life on life’s terms without numbing with food, or drink, or drugs, or self-mutilation.  They will be free.

Peace.

Daily Ground- – -February 9

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
― Kahlil Gibran

I cried eating sauerkraut today.  Not the tears running out of your eyes crying, but the inside heart sadness crying.  My husband suggested I go to our local coffee shop and try the Polka Pie. A homemade hot pie with kielbasa, red potatoes and sauerkraut.  As soon as I tasted the sauerkraut, a full range of sad emotions poured over me. It reminded me of how my mom would cry singing Polish songs.

I didn’t want to leave the shop.  There have been times in my life where I’ve wanted to run from sadness, but now I don’t mind it. When it involves history, it makes me feel closer to a past I’m beginning to forget with less and less people around to help me piece it together.

I wanted to stay in the coffee shop. I felt close to my mom. I didn’t mind the feelings at all. The coffee shop was closing at 6, so I did indeed need to leave.  The feeling dissipated. Why fear them? Feelings come and go.  I’m grateful to be awake enough to experience them.

Peace.