piecesofpeace1

I was driving alone in my car the other day and I had this ecstatic feeling of: “I love my kids and hubby!” It was amazing and forceful.  And followed by regret.  Regret because I’ve given so much of myself to them out of fear, and now I finally realize – they would have loved me anyway. I was so afraid the kids were going to turn out like me. I was so afraid they would experience the horrors of my childhood. Couldn’t I see they had different parents? I was so afraid the hubby would leave me – not see me – like countless others. Couldn’t I see he wasn’t that guy?

I hate labels, but I feel I’m going through. . . some midlife turmoil.  Not like a total crisis, but geez, is this all there is?  Why have I squandered so much time working, and so much…