piecesofpeace1

Daily Ground – – – January 11th

You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. – – -Unknown

What are you afraid of? Starting a new job, sending your child to a sleepover, going back to school at 40, the economy?  Fears are like waves in the ocean, there is no use in fighting them, just ride the surf.  Unfortunately the older we get,the more mucked up our minds get, and sometimes we can’t even admit that it is fear we are feeling.

Here’s the thing: fear is in your mind. It usually has nothing to do with what is going on right in front of you.  It has to do with a past event that gets triggered or a succession of worries about the future. Your mind really is out to get you.

My sister had leukemia for 10 months, and I was her caretaker. At the time of her illness I had a very flexible job, and I was able to be there often.  As she was in remission, I was offered a new job.  The worry was maddening.  I worried she would get sick again, and that I wouldn’t be able to care for her, and that I would lose my job, and that my family would suffer.  My. Mind.  Would. Not.  Stop.

I was starting the new position in June. My sister died the April before I began.  All that worrying was for naught. The outcome was devastating, but the lesson was not lost.  Do I really think I have control over events – over sickness and health – over life and death? All of that agonizing worrying about a job choice was centered in my mind.  I wasn’t riding the waves of life. I was fighting them, drowning, and missing the moments right in front of me.

I can still get caught in worry mind, but I usually get out of it before I sink.  I lean into the waves instead of fighting.  The thinking is always, always, always worse than the actual doing.

Peace.

Daily Ground – – -January 9th

Stay in your lane. . .

I once heard a Buddhist Monk tell a story:  A new monk entered a monastery and he witnessed the young monks washing the older monk’s feet at the end of each day. The new monk thought to himself, “How stupid. Look at these silly monks. They are really pumping up that old monk’s ego.” Day after day, 30 young monks would rush to wash this venerable monk’s feet.  The new monk would continue thinking, “That is disgusting! Why are 30 monks washing his feet? I’ll never do that!” Days passed and the new monk was stuck in his head with his angry thoughts. Eventually he let go a bit, and began to think, “Why am I so angry about this? They aren’t really hurting anyone. Why is their behavior disturbing me? They aren’t even asking me to participate, and they don’t seem to be judging me. In fact, they look pretty happy washing his feet.” The next day instead of 30 monks washing feet, 31 monks washed the venerable monk’s feet.

I can find myself being outraged for things that truly don’t affect me.  When I don’t create space between myself and others – it sure FEELS like it affects me, but once I can truly look at my thoughts and feelings for what they are, like the monk did in the story, I can at the very least stop my disgust and anger at others, and at best, I can join in washing feet.

Peace.

Daily Grind – – January 7th

I once heard a story about monkey traps in South America. There is a banana in a box and a hole through which the monkey sticks its hand. While holding onto the banana, the monkey cannot get its hand out of the hole.  All the monkey has to do to get away is to simply let go.

How often do we hold onto things even if they are causing us suffering.  Haven’t you ever witnessed anger and resentment or felt it yourself and thought how much energy it takes and how ugly it can look and feel.

What are people angry and resentful about? Mostly someone else’s actions. Half the time I can’t control my own feelings and emotions, and yet I still think I should be in control of others. When people don’t act right, I get caught up in ruminating over what they have done. Anger is just me grabbing the banana and waiting for the hunter to come and get me. Anger causes emotional pain and exhaustion, and if it really festers, I can get physically ill and emotionally hung-over.

What’s done is done. Anger won’t change anything, but letting go will.

Daily Ground – – -January 4

Changing my bad attitude to one of gratitude is sometimes as simple as reframing the things that disturb me.  Thanking God for all that is – knowing some things are more difficult to lean into than others.  Logically I know life is always both good and bad, so why do I resist? If I can be grateful for pleasant things, can I also be grateful for difficult things that make me the whole person I am today?

Today I give thanks for the chill in the air that allows me to feel alive. I give thanks for the work that provides my income. I am grateful for the worry in my heart for loved ones suffering – because I am vulnerable enough to love. I am especially grateful  to be aware enough to recognize those moments – sometimes rare – when I can sit in peace and contentment because of my Faith.

Peace.

Daily Ground – – -January 3rd

Happiness is over-rated; try going for contentment.

I’ve realized over the years that happiness is fleeting, and most folks never truly attain it.  One sure danger sign to not achieving happiness is: “I’ll be happy when______________.”  You know what the blank holds: I have the right job, I have the right mate, I finish school, I get out of my current living situation, everyone acts like I think they should.

That last one would certainly bring me “happiness,” but I also know it is completely unattainable!  I have a wise, spiritual friend I call when my emotions begin leading me around and making me act and react in unhealthy ways.  She listens to me vent, and then usually says something like, “So, folks aren’t acting like you think they should.”  This can elicit several responses from me – at times when I am feeling very uncomfortable, I usually have a little tantrum.  Most times I just smile, and realize she is correct. This is exactly what is happening – whether it is my boss, my partner, my colleague, my client, my friend, my child – most folks rarely act the way I wish they would. Often this brings the realization that I’m truly not in control.

My journey and teachers encourage me to be content with being uncomfortable and not in control. I’m encouraged to let others act as they must – knowing everyone does the best they can with what they have.  If I can keep this in mind, contentment comes, and I feel peace.

Peace.